Got up – fed and watered - packed - said our goodbyes and then sat / sang in the coach as it made its way down South to Rotorua. The journey was broken with an uneventful pitstop – so I don’t know why I told you that ?
Got to the sulphuric smells of Rotorua in sunshine and on time. Hotel located / bags off loaded and then off to Te Puia – the thermal reserve where with a lovely guide who took us to her heart we were shown 2 live kiwis, 3 mud pools and 4 old geysers ( JMS not being included! ). Alex S found a kindred spirit in the Kiwi as we were told that they sleep for 19 hours a day and eat for the rest. Any time left over they just peck their friends ( Fran – that’s you ). On board a little electric train the stories from our Maori guide just flowed. One fast hour just flew by and then we realised . . . . in was three o’clock and we hadn’t had a proper lunch. Sorry folks but MaciMacs was visited as a fill in. Indeed not knowing quite how the girls were going to take a hangi as their evening meal I suggested they ‘pig out’ a little.
Waiting nervously for the bus, not knowing what to expect – we waited . . . the itinerary just said Maori concert and songs with a hangi. . . . we waited . . then at break neck speed around the corner came a bus. It couldn’t be for us . . could it ? Doors flew open and Mark the Maori screamed Ki-ora at us . . . no this bus wasn’t for us genteele folk from Worcester. But it was . . . the next three hours I’m afraid folks were just a blur in my memory – no I haven’t touched a drop since leaving Blighty. If you was to know exactly what happened it’ll be on You-Tube by September I am sure. But for those of you who cannot wait . . the story goes as follows – for a slightly different angle please ask your daughter . . . our driver Mark then proceeded to officially welcome us to NZ explaining Ki-ora to us. What followed next would put most of the MFL team at RGS to shame. Mark then went through the welcoming ‘hello’s – how are you today’ of at least 50 countries. There was plenty of mickey taking with regards rugby and the rest of the world. We took it all in the best of British. It was a hilarious start. But believe me, what was to follow was from another world . . of entertainment AND education. By the way Mark the driver was driving us in the dark out of Rotorua – we had absolutely no idea where we were going. After the welcoming speech he then told us of the protocols for entering a Maori village. Our chiefs would wait and be challenged in a most horrific manner with daunting chants from the ladies of the village, by the host villages chiefs at the end of which a peace token was offered to the visiting chiefs. This was duly accepted and picked up. The visiting tribe would then follow their chief into the village and all would be well. All that was needed was for our bus to elect a Chief – with several men to chose from the RGS girls including so called colleagues FW and CMW made their vocal support known to everyone . . . as they chose me !! Thank you girls. I now have anew nickname – the Chosen One. Standing along with two other chiefs alongside me, I was subjected to the most horrendous of challenges but I stood my ground and held my eye contact – legs shaking like mad . . then the peace offering was made and . . . a hand landed gently on my shoulder indicating that I was the chosen one and I had to pick up the offering. With Mr Howell’s drama lessons going through my mind I picked up the offering keeping my eye firmly fixed on the warrior. By the way everyone we’ve met knows Rico Gear and is related to him – from the delivery man in Auckland to the barman in the village. Anyway with the dramatic welcome over we trooped into the village with the girls rallying round and giving me a well done high 5 hug. We then went round the various huts in the village and talked and experienced the sights and sounds and the sheer manliness of these guys. The pictures the girls have taken will tell a better story. On the signsl of a sea conch and led by Chief Jon the tribe of Shozzalot trooped into the assembly hall and were thoroughly entertained by song and dance – the facial expressions were magnificent. A Hangi then followed which was well received by all – then to finish with the chiefs ( there were 3 of us ) had to partake in a HAKA !! Yes that too will be on You-tube no doubt. Try as I might I couldn’t get the tongue bit but I reckon I did OK on the eyeballs !! and as for the thigh slapping and chanting – no problemo.Even then the experience was not over as our driver then entertained us on the journey home and challenged us to sing – so we duly obliged . . S Club 7 was the start. In the end a great 3 hours was had by ALL – the only sadness was that because we were late getting back and the girls were not surprisingly as high as kites we did not have the opportunity of bathing in the hot calm mineral baths of the Polynesian Spas which were just across the way from the hotel. Still the baths will be there for the next trip in 2014 !!!
Bedtime.
Shozz out
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